Products We Endorse

And now for a little segment I like to call “Things We Would Have Paid A LOT More Money For But Didn’t.” (just rolls right off the tongue doesn’t it). Anyway, I’m hoping to make this a series.

Today’s product: the “Baby Einstein Baby Take-Along Tunes Infant Toy.” (there will be a quiz later). I’ve referred to said toy before as “baby crack” in this post of yore but this toy is so good it deserves its own post and the minutes of your life that are being eaten up right now because you’re still reading.

Before I go any further, I must once again thank the A’Hearn family for purchasing it for Baby Faith when she was still literally kickin’ it in my belly. Did I register for this amazing item? Oh no. That would’ve required some insight into its special powers. What are these special powers I speak of you ask? Well, I’d tell you a story of a specific time that it calmed Faith or kept her busy while I was frantically throwing a nasal aspirator into a diaper bag while putting on makeup and screaming at my spouse for misplacing my keys getting ready to leave the house, but there isn’t one. That’s right. This toy has worked EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

It works when we do an unwanted diaper change, force-feed medicine and wait for what seems like hours for a bottle to heat up. Get this. It even worked when Faith had her enema for her Intussusception. The techs and nurses were in awe. (Think those little minions from Toy Story when they see the claw type of awe). And a couple weeks ago when I was doing a media escort for this KETV story by the lovely Julie Cornell the researcher said to the little boy, “Should we get out your very favorite toy of all time?” and out came this guy:

Kid went gaga over it just like Faith does. Eyes glazed. Intent focus. It’s almost creepy how well it works. What’s my point? Glad you asked. Well, if you know someone with a baby who cries a lot (husbands don’t count), a baby-to-be on the way or anyone who might come in contact with a baby at some point in their lifetime, you should buy this toy for them. For all you numbers people out there still not convinced, I’ll go all Bob Barker on you.

Actual retail price: $8.99 (at my favorite store of all time, Target
Estimated worth: $899 (seriously, it makes babies stop crying, what more could you ask for?)
What we paid: $0 (mental note: send the A’Hearns a fruit basket or my second-born child)

If you’d like to be convinced first-hand, offer up those jr. high babysitting skills and Faith is yours for a few hours. It’s just like a happy meal. She comes with a toy.
Pop quiz time: Without scrolling up, what’s the full name of the toy?……………..Bzzzzzzzzzzz. Wrong. You fail. Just call it baby crack.