Ode to Day care

November 19, 2010

*Disclaimer:
The following poem was written by a psycho, first-time, overbearing, insert-your-own-adjectives-for-crazy- here, mother. It’s not that I hate all day cares or the people who work there. It’s just that they’re not me.
Or grandma. Or Aunt Rachel. Or anybody else who’s ever babysat for Faith and gushed over her every move. I blame them for setting my bar too high.
Anyway, the following is an attempt to be humorous while still relaying my experiences with day care. i.e. don’t be offended. I think that’s usually the last thing a person says right before they offend someone.
I digress. And I apologize for the fifth-grade style poem. Here goes nothing…

Ode to Day care
You’re a necessary evil
Most of the time
For us hard-working mothers
And our hard-earned dimes
I drop off my child
You barely mumble ‘hello’
As soon as I leave
She’s stuffed in the bumbo
She was crabby today
You say as I arrive
I get home; she’s poopy
It didn’t happen on the drive
The clothes she’s wearing
Aren’t even hers
Neither is the binky
Just think of the germs
I realize they don’t pay you
Anywhere near enough
But as a first-time mother
My expectations are tough
So please offer a smile
Don’t mix up her clothes
Change her diaper when it’s dirty
Don’t turn up your nose
When you have children
You might understand
That going to day care
Is just part of the plan
We don’t enjoy leaving babies
Behind every day
We only work to make money
Staying home doesn’t pay
You’re a necessarily evil
It’s that you don’t see
Just remember I’m trusting you
With my only baby