How our first date did NOT go…

(The waiter at Taco Bell seats us and walks away)

Rob: “So….were you breastfed?”
Me: “Excuse me, what?”
Rob: “Yeah, cause that’s like really important to me that my life partner was breastfed as a baby.”
Me: “Well yes, my mom breastfed, but she also supplemented with formula if you must know.”
Rob: “Oh. Well, you’re kind of cute so I suppose I could get past it.”
Me: “Lucky me.”
(awkward silence)
Rob: “When exactly did you start solid foods?”
Me: “Uh, I have no idea.”
Rob: “Oh, cause I started them at four months. I was really advanced for my age. My mom told me I was in the 90th percentile for weight.”
Me: “Congratulations. You must be so proud.”
Rob: “Yeah, and I sat up, crawled and walked before all my baby friends too.”
Me: “Interesting. But all your baby friends eventually learned to sit up, crawl and walk right?”
Rob: “Well yeah, but I did it first. Most women find that irresistible.”
Me: “Do they?”
Rob: “Yeah. Weird that you don’t. Say, I was wondering, did your mom use cloth diapers?”
Me: “That’s a very odd question for a first date, but yes, I think so.
Rob: “Oh thank God. I just don’t think I could be with anyone that used those awful disposables.”
Me: “Wow. Just wow.”
Rob: “What? No one’s ever asked you these questions before?”
Me: “No. And I really don’t think they’re all that important. I know my mom loved the hell out of me and told me so. She kissed me, hugged me, fixed my booboos, played catch with me in the backyard, took me on my first plane ride, played those crazy hand-slapping games with me cause we were the only two in the house, let me win at Chutes and Ladders, sang Oldies to me, took me to church, sat through my soccer games, my basketball games, and filmed them all. She stayed up late worrying about me, then got up early to drive me somewhere. She worked to buy me clothes, food and too many stuffed animals. She put herself second so that I could go first. She loved me and gave me the very thing that every kid wants most: time. And THAT is what has made me who I am today.”
(end date here) 🙂

My point is this: Most of the stuff parents of new babies spend their time thinking and worrying about doesn’t matter. Every adult I know is potty trained, though I don’t know when they hit that milestone and I don’t care. I might not be the best parent in the world, make the right decision every time or follow all the so-called “rules” but I will ALWAYS be there for Faith when she needs me. It’s what matters most.

Bonus for you: I don’t have a picture of Rob and I on our first date, but this is the earliest one I can find on facebook. It was taken about three and a half months after we started dating. We’ve been together a little more than 6 years now. Who knew I’d have that guy in the picture’s baby someday? I mean, he’s wearing a shell necklace and a shirt with beer spilled on it. I know what I was thinking when Mrs. Nikki Hartz snapped this photo… “Hands off ladies, he’s mine!”