A Two Oreo Kind of Day

This post could also be called “White People Problems” (if you haven’t seen that website, it’s hilarious) as none of what I’m about to tell you is devastating. It’s just about how my day Sucked. Yes, with a capital S.

It started with losing one of my diamond earrings. I knew I lost it either in the bedroom or bathroom. I half-heartedly looked for it (avoiding problems is my specialty) and reluctantly told Rob when he got out of the shower. He got back in the shower, lifted up the bathmat and found the earring and its back. I pointed out this was the second time he’s found one of my missing earrings. His reply: “Yeah, because I don’t wanna have to buy you new ones.” Touche.

I dropped Faith off at daycare, only to discover three hours later when I checked my phone that I’d left in my car, I forgot to pay my monthly daycare payment. A voicemail informed me of my $25 late payment fee. Ugh. I would say “don’t even get me started,” but I’ve already gotten started. Why $25? Where does that $25 go? Why me? Rob suggested the daycare peeps have keggers at the end of each month with all the late payment money. They probably deserve it, so I really hope this is true.

Apparently some dude at the gym didn’t get the memo that I was having a bad day. He decided to interrupt my bicep curls by asking if he could work back in using the bench I was setting my weights on. He hadn’t been over in that area for at least a few minutes and there were no weights in sight indicating anyone was “working” anything. I felt like he was pushing me around because I was a girl lifting 12.5 pound weights. I rudely replied, “Didn’t see ya there” before taking my ball and going home my weight and going somewhere else.

When I went to pick up Faith after work, the kids were outside. I dropped off my check (with late payment included – grrr) inside and then went to collect the girl I know and love outside. I rounded the corner and she was squatting on the ground by herself with no one in sight. After looking a little harder, I noticed a worker picking up toys on the playground in the background. Then I saw it. Dirt. On Faith’s cheek. As she got closer to me I saw a little more. “I hope you haven’t been eating it,” I said. Well unless she found some Oreos buried in the ground, it was official. She was definitely eating dirt. Not very much, but definitely dirt. Dirt in your kid’s mouth = one unhappy mama bear. Dumb daycare girl who will remain nameless because I don’t know her name offered me a wipe. A wipe? Really? Yeah, how would she like to lick a wipe? Let’s use our thinking caps here. I couldn’t decide if I should laugh or cry. Rob laughed. My mom laughed. I’m still not finding the humor.

And if that weren’t enough, Rob opened up a piece of mail of mine tonight and started laughing. “You got denied a JCPenney credit card,” he cackled. The letter said, “insufficient income in relation to debt obligations.” Really? I paid off my car loan in 2.5 years. I always pay the balance off of our Target card and believe you me that is saying something. And I’m not Richie Rich, but I wouldn’t call my income “insufficient.” We ran a quick, free credit report and saw no reason why JCPenney of all places would deny me. I started making phone calls. When I finally got to speak with a human, I dumped my story on him. That’s when Rob brought me my first Oreo. I thought he was being nice to me, but now that I think about it, he used to be a customer service rep so he was probably hoping the cookie would help me be nice. Before we could find out if it worked, I got put on hold. This is when Rob brought me my second Oreo. It was a good thing too, because the man came back on the line to tell me it was because I had a mortgage. Are you kidding me? Who doesn’t have a mortgage? That’s when I did it. In a fit of desperation and wonderment at how I was being denied, I told him how much money I made and asked how that could not be enough for a JCPenney credit card. (In case you’re wondering, yes, this was all about principle – I don’t really shop there all that much and just applied for the card because I wanted the 20% discount). A couple seconds went by and then the poor man on the other end of the line said, “Oh. Well we have you down as making $12,000.” Case cracked.

Not sure if anything else went wrong today, but even I’m sick of hearing me complain so I’ll stop here. While Monday, March 5 most certainly Sucked, there were plenty of things to celebrate. Faith slept til 7. We are all healthy. Faith slept til 7. Nonetheless, it was still a two Oreo kind of day. Or maybe that’s dirt in my teeth…

Smiling through it all…

Anyone know how to Photoshop a binky out of a kid’s mouth?